How to Deal with Alter Egos

Do you know someone who makes claims about himself (or herself) that seem too farfetched to be true? While inventing a false life to others, he’s actually another person or even presents a different facade to another group. It could be an acquaintance, close friend or loved one struggling with an alter ego personality disorder.

What they tell you is not who they are. A little bit of truth mixed in with a whole lot of lies, which can make you feel like you’re losing your mind if you deal with them.

What Is an Alter Ego?

Someone who has an alter ego leads more than one life. It’s a second (or third, etc.) personality within a person. The phrase “alter ego” first appeared around the early 1800s when the concept of schizophrenia first cropped up among psychiatrists.

Recognizing an Alter Ego

If someone makes claims that seem too good to be true, chances are they’re lying. Often it takes awhile for someone caught up with the lies of an alter ego personality to realize they’ve been deceived. People with alter ego personalities are usually personable, charming individuals who make you feel good about yourself. But if you really tune in to what they’re saying, they’re usually wrapped up with themselves, making extravagant claims about what they’ve accomplished, as well as what they know and own.

Leading Two Lives

People with alter egos can present one image to one group, while projecting a completely different picture to another circle of acquaintances. Although skilled in trying to remember what they told one group of people, they sometimes slip, revealing a red flag that “something just isn’t quite right.”

Beware of Internet Scammers

Alter egos abound in cyberspace. On a recent Dr. Phil Show on “Alter Egos”, a woman was featured for her incredible story of meeting someone online with whom she had a 32-month cyber relationship. Over time, she began to have doubts, realizing he just may not be who he claimed to be. The man went so far to lie about his age, profession, and even serving in the war. She fell in love with him and accepted a marriage proposal, although she’d never met him. When he conned her into loaning him for a sizeable amount of money, she sent it, believing he would pay her back. Learning the truth the poor woman was devastated, yet wiser.

What to Do If You’ve Been Scammed

Break all ties – If you think you can get anything lost back from an alter ego person, you’re dreaming. It’s best to cut off all connections with such a person. You may have to get an unlisted phone number, as well as change your email address.

Don’t beat yourself Up – When you first learn you’ve been deceived, it’s easy to get angry not only with the one who hurt you, but yourself, as well. The voices of, “How could you have been so naïve” may continue to attack your thoughts. Instead of beating yourself up, be gentle with yourself. Chances are, many others have been deceived by the same person. Turn the experience into an opportunity to help others who may be victims.

Forgive and Pray

If you’re going to find any peace in your heart, you have to forgive the offender even if he never asks for it. Then move on with your life, praying for the person who deceived you to be healed of his mental disorder. There’s always hope with God.